I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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