strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
