That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
