The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
