Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
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