i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
