That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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