I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
she peed on how many people?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
