can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
whose ass print is on the piano?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
