that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
