I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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