I am puke
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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