You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
