Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That was before I lit my hair on fire
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize