Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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