It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
