oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
