dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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