I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
