We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
