he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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