i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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