she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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