can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
