this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
