Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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