I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize