WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
PANTIES FOUND
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