I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
