____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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