I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
