we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
