Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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