Do you still have your period?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
