When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
