you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
