Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
