I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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