One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She even gives head with a lisp.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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