Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
porn star boner night. come get it.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
