I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
