If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
