It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
