Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
