Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
