What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
