ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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