I wannas sexs uuuuu
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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