I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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