Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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