Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
