Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
