I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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