Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize