I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
