Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
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i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
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