We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
