is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
