You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Just high enough for therapy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
