belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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