I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
