he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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