cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
