well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
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Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
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in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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