is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
