On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
