I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
