so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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