We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
