I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
