I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
