Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
do herpes really smell.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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