you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
